When Your Mind Becomes Your Enemy: How to Stop Judgment, Fear, and “Turn Off” the Inner Critic
The inner critic can lift you up or destroy you in a moment. The most important skill is learning how to recognize it, understand it, and quiet it when it begins to sabotage you.
The critical inner voice may push us toward growth, but it can just as easily turn into a harsh judge that stops us from moving forward. This is why it is necessary to know how to identify this voice, manage self-criticism, and give ourselves support instead of punishment.
We all know that inner commentary that evaluates everything we do, reminds us of past mistakes, and scares us with possible failures. Sometimes it protects us from bad decisions, but far more often it becomes a severe judge that minimizes our achievements and fills us with fear and insecurity. Many people don’t even realise they are living under its influence, losing opportunities and avoiding risks out of fear of failure.
This voice is known as the inner critic. It exists in everyone but appears in different forms. Some people hear it only when they fail. Others live in constant dialogue with it. The more power we give it, the more anxiety, self-doubt, and perfectionism grow. Understanding where it comes from is the first step toward changing our relationship with it.
What is the Inner Critic?
In psychology, the inner critic is seen as the part of the psyche responsible for self-esteem and behavioural control. It is shaped by personal experiences, upbringing, and social expectations.
When healthy, it helps us grow, reflect on mistakes, and improve. But when destructive, it becomes a source of self-sabotage, fear, and insecurity.
The inner critic can take many voices. For some, it sounds like a strict teacher. For others, a demanding parent or even an enemy that mocks them. Its main characteristic is rigidity. It recognises no middle ground, no nuances. It sees the world in black and white, ignores success, and focuses only on flaws.
Psychologists describe it as a reflection of internalised beliefs, rules, and punishments learned in childhood that continue to influence adulthood, even when they no longer make sense.
Where Does the Inner Critic Come From?
It is often formed during childhood through:
• constant criticism from parents or teachers
• very high expectations
• lack of emotional support
• social and cultural pressure to be successful
Over the years, the voice grows stronger. During stress, it becomes even louder.
Types of Inner Critics
The inner critic can take on several roles, including:
• The Perfectionist – demands flawless results
• The Judge – dismisses any success as not good enough
• The Catastrophizer – sees every mistake as a disaster
• The Comparer – constantly measures you against others
• The Victim – convinces you that you are powerless
Most people experience a mix of these voices.
How Does Self-Criticism Affect Your Life?
Few people realise how harmful this voice can be when it becomes toxic. There is a huge difference between healthy self-reflection and destructive self-criticism.
A healthy inner critic analyses mistakes and guides you.
A toxic inner critic makes you feel unworthy, afraid, and insecure.
Its consequences can be:
• Low self-esteem – a constant feeling of not being good enough
• Self-sabotage – giving up opportunities before even trying
• Increased anxiety – fear of mistakes becomes paralysing
• Persistent guilt – unable to move past faults
• Perfectionism – no achievement is ever enough
• Relationship difficulties – the fear of not being “good enough” for others
Eventually the voice becomes so loud that you can’t ignore it. That is the moment when real inner work begins.
