Why we get angry at the wheel and how we can escape… in 4 seconds
“Road rage” is a phenomenon that finds its most fertile ground in densely populated and hyperactive cities, where modern man lives under constant pressure. The most common signs start with the use of horns or lights as an initial reaction and escalate into insults and verbal gestures. The situation begins and becomes dangerous when a driver tries to block the path of another, makes a dangerous overtaking or approaches the vehicle in front of him from behind.
He may even accelerate or brake arrogantly. Finally, road rage can also reach a deliberate collision, a conflict outside the vehicle, when someone stops to “demand an account”.
Psychological causes
“Road rage has several psychological causes, such as stress and time pressure”, – explains Kelly Holeva, clinical psychologist – behavioral psychotherapist. “We can all look at the traffic ahead and say, ‘Oh, I’m going to be late for work again today.’ The person may also have a low tolerance for frustration, that is, for the way someone has cut in or blocked their way. They may have difficulty accepting delays, obstacles, or situations that don’t go their way, experience intense internal tension or anger when something “doesn’t go their way,” or believe they can’t handle the frustration or injustice.”
In other words, a driver who yells, gestures, honks insistently, or makes sudden maneuvers isn’t simply venting his annoyance. Essentially, he’s giving form to the anxiety, frustration, or insecurity he already carries inside. However, anger rarely arises at the moment of the incident. Usually, it builds up and simply finds an outlet on the road.
For many drivers, driving is the continuation of a day full of stress, deadlines, professional pressure, family obligations, delays. Thus, the slightest delay or a careless move by another driver acts as a trigger. The situation is worsened when the driver has consumed alcohol or substances that reduce self-control. ADHD, depression and anxiety can reduce the ability to control impulses and increase irritability.
“Although feeling angry is a normal reaction, it goes without saying that the use of violence cannot be justified, nor is it a sign of emotional maturity,” say experts.
The road is a microcosm of our society, and the way we drive reflects the way we live and grow up. Driving is part of a broader pattern of behavior that is inherited from generation to generation. Thus, a child sees a parent getting angry or reacting aggressively and considers this attitude normal. In some countries, expressing anger is treated as an expected “reaction to injustice.”
How it arises and how it is treated
Road rage acts as a symptom of a deeper condition. Many times it has nothing to do with the driving itself, but with what preceded it, such as a stressful morning, a bad day at work, family tensions. Road rage is the result of a chain of small outbursts that seek a way out. A first step in managing our anger is to recognize these warning signs. That is, am I feeling a rapid heartbeat, sweating? Am I having negative thoughts?
In other words, in a moment of tension, to realize that we are angry and that there is no reason to disrupt the calm and the day by entering into a conflict process.
The “Stop, Breathe, and Reassess” Technique
A particularly effective method for managing anger while driving is the “Stop, Breathe, and Reassess” technique. In this phase, we focus on awareness of emotions: “What am I feeling right now? Anger? Irritation? Injustice?” For example, you might think: “He did it on purpose” or “He didn’t respect anyone.” The important thing is not to react impulsively, but simply to recognize what is happening inside us at that particular moment.
Then, we move on to the breathing phase, applying the so-called box breathing technique, which is also used by pilots and military personnel to regulate tension under pressure. The process has 4 phases, each lasting 4 seconds: Inhale through the nose for 4 seconds. Hold the breath for 4 seconds. Exhale through the mouth for 4 seconds. Pause before the next inhalation for 4 seconds.
This process restores control of the nervous system, lowers the heart rate and allows for clearer thinking. At the same time, it is important to remind ourselves that we cannot – and do not need to – control other drivers. What we can control is our calmness and our attitude.
Since the above technique takes 3 to 5 minutes, if we do not have that time, something that can help us is to start pressing the steering wheel lightly and relaxing it by repeating it 3 times. In this way, we automatically reduce muscle tone, so our body will send a calming signal to the brain.
“It is very important to remember that the other driver may have simply made a mistake. We do not need to take it personally and see something intentional behind a bad driving behavior. We should always think about whether our risk for this incident is worth it. And in the end, what do we choose? Is it better to calmly reach our destination or to prove who is right?”, emphasizes the expert.
How to deal with an aggressive driver?
If things get out of control, how do we deal with the other driver’s anger? “First, we must remain calm. It is very important not to reflect the other person’s anger in our behavior. That is, if the other person has a certain tone, curses at us or makes certain descriptions of us, we should not do exactly the same thing, because we are reflecting their anger and making them even angrier. When we respond to anger with anger, the tension escalates and the conflict intensifies.
However, addressing the phenomenon is not only a matter of the Highway Code. It also requires cultural changes. Education, awareness, a stronger presence of the Highway Police, improved infrastructure, information campaigns, etc. But the first step is always individual, that is, learning to control oneself. Rage at the wheel can be mitigated with awareness, discipline and a little kindness.
Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter who is on the road. What matters is who returns home safe and sound.